Unemployed, Ashamed, and Disheartened

Even if you are one of the happiest people full of hope and generally optimistic about life, searching for a job can be painful, depressing and down right soul sucking. Especially when it takes longer than you expect to find that new job. 

I have found that one of the most difficult things to handle is the uncertainty of everything. I don't know when this search is ever going to end! Granted I am extremely fortunate to be living at home with my husband (who is employed full time thankfully) and his parents so I'm not constantly stressing about how to pay rent/mortgage, etc.  But what kills me is I don't know how hiring managers are reacting to my cv, do they just plain hate it? Am I really not good enough? Is it because I'm American? What is it!!! 

Rejections are so disheartening:

So I recall reading that the average job posting gets 300+ applications.  So essentially I'm competing against 299 other people for the same position. We've all been to school, done the training and are now all desperately vying for the same jobs. I know that rejection is all part of the process and eventually I am going to get an email that isn't a rejection but its is difficult to not feel bad about myself when I get rejection after rejection.

There is also this constant feeling of being unwanted.  Job = acceptance, acceptance = wanted, wanted = valuable.  If your offered a job, it means that there are people out there that say "hey, your talented and we want you to be part of this company because we think that you are great".  If no one is offering you a job what does that mean? 

I've also found that I feel ashamed for being unemployed. Family and friends ask me how work is going and I instantly put my head down and murmur that I' still looking. They give the usual response of "something will come along", "have you thought about just taking any old job", "keep trying", "have you applied to very many".  Its embarrassing!  There are times when I don't want to visit family or friends because I don't want to have to explain that I'm still an unemployed loser.  

Looking for a job is a full time job, I spend on average 9 hours a day (five sometimes six days a week) combing job sites, writing out cover letters and customising my cv to match the job description.  So to work 40+ hours a week and see nothing positive come from it for months on end (i.e.a job) its is disheartening and wearing me down.  I have gone from a confident museum professional with years of experience ready to tackle the next project to someone that is wondering if she's even good enough to work at McDonalds.